


Healing

by nebulaesailor



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Chronic Pain, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jasper Redemption (Steven Universe), Mental Illness, Recovery, corruption healing, jasper finds love and acceptance and is actually happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:57:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9854909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulaesailor/pseuds/nebulaesailor
Summary: Steven tries to help Jasper with her corruption and it backfires terribly. A prompt for Jasper Bomb 2017 on Tumblr.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Jasper Bomb on Tumblr and the prompt was corruption healing/redemption arc. I had multiple ideas on how this going to play out but decided to go for Mindful Education route because it's one of my favorite episodes and I saw so many cool pictures of Jasper with the butterflies. This took me all day and I want to sleep.

Jasper rested her cheek on the wooden railing of the balcony. She was waiting for Steven in her favorite spot on the balcony behind his room, watching the surf crash into rocks at high tide. The sun had disappeared over the horizon turning the sky brilliant shades of orange and pink. It was a lot later than they usually had the healing ritual, and she was starting to wonder if Steven was even going to do it at all. She wasn’t particularly in a rush, she didn’t like these rituals anymore than she liked being corrupted but she knew that they were vital to her recovery. 

“Jasper, are you ready?” Steven asked her, she turned her head to look at him before slowly getting her feet.

“Yeah.” She grunted, lumbering after him on heavy exhausted feet. 

He lead her to the beach right in front of the temple, where the water met the sand. Jasper sat in lotus position facing Steven who had also sat in the same exact position she was in. Steven gave her an encouraging smile which she reciprocated with a scowl.

“How was your day today? Did you do anything fun?” He asked innocuously, Jasper shot him a dirty look before looking down at her bare feet. 

“Boring. I did absolutely nothing because I’m too tired to do anything!” She snarled gripping her knees with her sharp claws. Steven tried to touch her hand in reassurance only to have her slap it away. Her face soften when she saw the deflated look on his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated by having no energy do anything other than wander around your tiny house. I use to be able to battle for days without even feeling the slightest bit fatigued and now I can hardly even get up without being in pain! The fucking corruption scars itch like hell and scratch myself raw, no matter how many times you spit on me! This stupid corruption has made me more useless than a blind sapphire!” She yelled, digging her claws into her knees, hard enough to draw up blood. 

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself! You’re healing and it’s okay that you’re not able to do the things you use to do before you got corrupted. You have to be forgiving of yourself. I know it’s hard to be in a body that feels like it’s gone against you. You just got to be patience and want to get better. We are already so proud of the progress you made.” He said, gathering her large scar riddled hands into his small chubby ones. 

“I really proud of you, Jasper.” Jasper looked up from her lap, and for a split second, he saw a flash of gratitude and pride flash in her eyes before looked back down and let out a small bitter chuckle.

“You must have low standards then.” She said dryly, but Steven could see a faint blush creeping onto her orange striped cheeks.

“Do you want to start the ritual now?” He asked, Jasper gave a brisk nod and he took that as a yes.

Together they slowly breathed in and then exhaled slowly. Jasper closed her eyes and tried to focus on the sounds of the waves, clearing her mind of all thoughts. Even though she had done this part every day for close to a month, it was always something she struggled with. She was always thinking, negativity and self-deprecation followed her like the plague, taking over her thought. Trying to clear her mind of those thoughts was an extremely difficult task. It took both Steven and Garnet that first day to get her to complete that first step, she would’ve quit if it wasn’t for the look of intense guilt and sadness on Steven’s face when she tried to give up after an hour of failure. 

But slowly and surely, she found a way as the outside world faded away until there was nothing but darkness and the sound of the waves. 

“Here in darkness, everything is okay. Listen to the waves, and let them fade away. Here comes a thought…” Both Steven and Jasper repeated the mantra together like they had done so many times before, as the black calm abyss of her mind melded with Steven’s.

She found herself in the familiar cold blue landscape of her subconscious, all was normal besides the massive tear that ran through the center of it. It still caused a great amount of distress to look at it, and she was surprised she didn’t burst into tears like the first time she saw it. She felt her chest clench as a white butterfly appeared in her vision. 

“Jasper, remember it’s just a thought.” She heard Steven’s reassuring voice and took a deep breath, letting the butterfly float on by.

“I-It looks almost smaller than it did last time. Not as vast.” She said, trying to reassure herself. She glanced back at the chasm, which on second glance did look quite a bit better than it did before.

“You’re right! It is smaller! Jasper, do you know what this means?” Steven exclaimed, clapping his hands together and putting them on her shoulders.

“What?” 

“You’re corruption is almost healed!” He said, throwing his arms around Jasper’s thick neck and pulling her into a celebratory hug. 

“What? How? It doesn’t feel healed at all. I still feel as awful as I always do. I don’t feel any different!” Steven released her and gave her that irritating "think-positive" smile he usually gave her right before he proved her wrong. 

“I didn’t say your corruption was gone but it’s almost healed! It means that you're getting better and one step closer to recovery. I don’t think we even need to do these rituals anymore, I think it will heal the rest on it own.” 

“You mean this is the best it’s going to get? I’m going to be like this forever!” Steven heard the panic in her voice, and his eyes widen as a dozen butterflies burst into existence. 

“No, no that’s not what I meant! Jasper, you’re corruption will get better over time. It’s not going to go away but it’s going to get better. I don’t think you’re going to be stuck like this forever.” Steven said trying to reassure her only to make it worse.

“You think? I’m broken, Steven! I am defective! I can’t even walk on the beach without having to rest, let alone fight! All I can do is lay around and feel bad about myself, as I continue to leech off of you and drag all of you guys down. I don’t know why you keep me around, I'm completely useless!” She shouted as dozens of more butterflies started to swirl around her. Steven didn’t know what he was saying wrong. 

“You’re not useless, Jasper. We care about you, all of us. We wouldn’t put up with you if we thought you were dragging us down. And so what you if you can’t do the things you use to be able to do right away, you might be able to do it in a month or an even year down the line. Whatever happens, it doesn’t change the way we feel about you!” He said, trying to get through to her. He saw a few butterflies drift away and disappear, showing that he was at least getting through to her somehow. 

“I just can’t believe you no matter how much I want to. All my life I’ve been taught that if I’m useful, I will be kept around. The only reason I wasn’t shattered like the rest of the betas was because I was such an asset to Homeworld. She loved me because I was perfect and was able to do things that no other jasper or even no other quartz could do. What would she think of me now, now that I’m no better than the rest of the betas.” She buried her head in her hands as the butterflies doubled in numbers. 

Steven felt as if he ran out of words, there was nothing he could say that would make her believe him. If words didn’t work then he’ll have use actions. He clenched his fist and made his way to the fluttering shroud of insects that was currently tormenting Jasper. Almost as if he was forcing his way through a waterfall, Steven fought against the butterflies that trying to keep him his friend. He grabbed onto Jasper and held onto with all his might as butterflies pelted him, threatening to separate him from Jasper. Through squinted eyes, he could see tears falling down her cheeks and feel her massive shoulders shake with quiet sobs. He said nothing, only hugging her ever tighter as the butterflies churned around them. 

One by one, the butterflies dispersed and floated out of existence until only a few fluttered around harmlessly. Jasper had stopped crying and was completely still. Steven wanted to ask if she was okay but didn’t want to ruin the peace. Jasper let in a shaky breath and exhaled deeply, soon another butterfly disappeared. 

“I just don’t want to be like this forever. I feel like I am trapped in a body that I am constantly fighting against just function. I want to run the entire length of the beach without getting tired and having rest. I want to go to Funland with you and Amethyst and not feeling like I’m preventing you from having fun when I have a corruption attack in public. I’m tired of being in pain, Steven. I don’t want to hate my existence every moment of the day.” She looked so exhausted, it pained Steven to see her like this.

“Jasper, I know I sound like a broken record but I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if you're ever going to be like how you use to be. I don’t know if your corruption ever going to be fully healed. I just don’t know. The only thing we can do is hope it gets better and try our best to recover. From what it look like, it is getting better and in a few months, you might feel ten times better than you do now. Even the nastiest scars eventually fade as time passes. They are still there but they fade.” He gave her one last squeeze before getting off her back, the last butterflies floated away and out of sight.

“I think I’ve had enough for today. If I see another butterfly I’m going to squash it.” Jasper said, giving Steven a ghost of a smile before her face fell into her customary scowl.

“Same here.”

The unearthly blue glow of Jasper’s subconscious faded away and was replaced by the beach where it was now nighttime. The very first stars were just starting to appear in the sky, and Jasper could point out the ever watchful gaze of the Homeworld star cluster if she squinted. 

“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it. You can see so many stars.” Steven said looking up at the night sky with a faraway twinkle in his eye.

“Yeah…” Jasper couldn’t help but feel homesick even though she was technically home. 

“Do you ever miss space? Peridot, Pearl, and Lapis do, they look at the sky the same way you do. I wouldn’t be mad if you said yes. I sometimes miss space even though I’ve only been there a few times.” Steven asked, not breaking his gaze from the night sky.

“I do miss space sometimes. Gems were made to be in space and have a built in love for it, regardless of caste or status. It’s rare for a gem to remain on a single planet for very long...” Jasper looked away from Homeworld to look at Steven. She didn’t bother looking back at the sky.

“But there are still things here that are more important than space.”

“Oh, I almost forgot! This should help your scars from itching.” Steven gave her a kiss on the gem, relieving the unbearable itchiness of her corruption scars.

“Thanks. We should probably head inside. Pearl probably has dinner ready and would nag the both us to death if we let it get cold.” Jasper said, slowly getting to her feet.

Steven slipped his small chubby hand into her massive one, as they made their way back to the house which glowed with light and warmth in the cold night air. They could make out Amethyst’s silhouette as she harassed Pearl’s for the entire chicken pot pie she was pulling out of the oven. Garnet’s waved from the balcony as they made their way up the hill. Jasper felt a sense of belonging, she never really felt before. They wanted her here simply because they liked having her around not because she was “some valuable asset” or “perfect”. They loved Jasper because she was Jasper, and that was really all she needed. 

“Jasper, I love you.” 

“I know. I love you, too”

**Author's Note:**

> I always thought corruption was a combination of mental and chronic illness mostly leaning towards mental illness. I always liked the idea of Jasper not being instantly cured of her corruption but instead the healing process being more gradual and taking time much like real illness. Also like real illness, I don't think corruption ever truly goes away, I think it gets better but I don't think it ever goes away. The whole corruption scars idea is a nod to skin conditions like eczema which I have mild form around my eyebrows and eyelids. It's as terrible as it sounds.


End file.
